Conspiracy!!

I got a comment on my last blog, and one of the topics that came up was that of conspiracy theories. The commenter expressed that he was a believer in alternative medicine, and used a conspiracy theory as reasoning. The idea was that "Big Pharma" (meaning pharmaceutical companies) somehow suppress studies that show alternative medicine works. This is incredibly weak logic, but somehow this argument pops up a lot when talking to alternative medicine believers. However, the conspiracy theory argument is worthless when debating anything. Why? Let's discuss, shall we?

First of all, the conspiracy theory is a Hail Mary pass. I'm not a football guy, but I've heard this analogy used before in regard to other things, and it works here. A Hail Mary pass is a move made in desperation; when it appears that you're going to lose the game and you have nothing left to lose, a Hail Mary pass has very little chance of succeeding, but you might as well try. When someone brings up a conspiracy theory in a debate, it's like saying "I have no evidence to back up my position, so I will now proceed to make some shit up and hope you buy it."

Which is not to say they're LYING, necessarily, I think most conspiracy theorists believe in what they're saying, it's just that they have no logical reason to believe it. Look, I get it. I understand people like to root for the underdog, and they like to feel like they have access to knowledge that other people don't, or are being kept from. I think it's a big reason why people believe in alternative medicine, they want to feel like they've figured out how to cheaply and naturally keep themselves healthy when everyone else is paying exorbitant prices to the evil pharmaceutical corporations that want to keep them sick and keep them buying medicine. The trouble is, it's all bullshit.

How do I know? Because if any conspiracy theory had any OUNCE of credibility to it, it would be MAJOR MAJOR news. Every single newspaper and media outlet across the globe would be talking about it. And whoever uncovered it would win the Pulitzer prize, the Nobel prize, book deals, etc. And I'm talking about not just the Big Pharma conspiracy, but about a number of bullshit theories. Take your pick: UFOs have been coming to Earth for decades, but the government keeps them under wraps; 9/11 was orchestrated by the Bush administration; John F. Kennedy was assassinated by the government... a lot of these have to do with the government now that I think about it.

So the FDA, or "Big Pharma" (how I hate that term), or whoever, suppresses data proving that alternative medicine works? Let's examine this for a minute. Science is not something that exists only in America, funded solely by the American government or American corporations. It's EVERYWHERE. Scientists all over the world, in every country, perform tests every single day. Whether they're under the employ of giant corporations, or universities, or the government, or even if they're just students or amateur scientists, every single scientist has one goal in mind: revolutionizing their field. It's how you get awards, it's how you get published, it's how you become remembered after you die. We remember Isaac Newton and Albert Einstein and Galileo Galilei because they revolutionized science, not because they maintained the status quo. There IS no status quo in science, and scientists all over the world are trying every day to overturn previously accepted scientific theories.

The fact is, if a SINGLE credible study was published, anywhere in the world, that supported alternative medicine, it would be MASSIVE worldwide news. It would appear in every scientific journal, every newspaper, it would be HUGE. And if alternative medicine worked, there would be these kinds of studies published EVERY DAY.

No government can suppress this stuff. No corporation can do it, no single organization or entity can suppress real science. It just can't be done, especially not in the modern world of the Internet and 24-hour news stations. The Catholic church tried for centuries to suppress science, but it still got out. That's how we know the Earth revolves around the sun. That's how we know Evolution is a fact. That's how we know the Earth is 4.5 billion years instead of 6,000. Real science cannot be suppressed for long.

So remember next time someone tells you a conspiracy theory: it's a Hail Mary pass. They got nothin'.